Sleep is so Precious

As long as I could remember I was never a morning person.  My parents would drag me out of bed every morning to go to school. No breakfast. Just enough time to get up, wash my face, brush my teeth and change clothes then off into the car I go.

In college, I could never understand how my roommate could wake up so perky and alert and ready to chat. Not me. I was Ms. Grumpy Butt. I literally scheduled all my classes to be after 11am. I remember having a Chinese class that was like 9am. I didn't do well in that class.

I just love to sleep. That is one of my interests, hobbies, favorite things to do if anyone asks me. My pediatrician told my parents that children need 10 hours of sleep a night. And I totally believe him. To this day even! If I didn't get my full 10 hours I was not a happy camper.

When I was pregnant, I slept even more, understandably, I was growing a person in me.  After I had the girls, I was even more tired. I was tired even if I slept 10+ hours.  I figured it was it was because of all the energy I exerted taking care of an infant and a toddler.

This all changed when a friend of mine told me he was diagnosed with sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea is a serious sleep disorder that occurs when a person's breathing is interrupted during sleep. People with untreated sleep apnea stop breathing repeatedly during their sleep which means their brain - and the rest of the body- may not be getting enough oxygen. The common form of sleep apnea (Obstructive Sleep Apnea or OSA) is caused by a blockage of the airway, usually when the soft tissue in the back of the throat collapses during sleep.

OSA can affect anyone at any age even children.

Risk factors for sleep apnea are:
- Being male
- Being overweight
- Being over age 40
- Having a large neck size (17 "+ for men; 16"+ for women)
- Having large tonsils, large tongue or small jaw bone
- Family history of sleep apnea
- Gastroesophageal reflux
- Nasal obstruction due to deviated septum, allergies or sinus problems

Now my friend is male but definitely not overweight which many people who have OSA are. He told me that he was always feeling tired throughout the day and needed naps all the time. He did snore though. And one evening his wife noticed he stopped breathing numerous times in the night as he slept. He would always wake up though to take a breath. So after that incident his wife urged him to  see his doctor. He got tested for a sleep disorder and was diagnosed with sleep apnea.

After he shared this with me I started to wonder if I had it too. Now I am not male, nor overweight, nor have a large neck size or have any history of it, no reflux or sinus issues BUT I am over 40 and have a thick tongue and small jaw bone. I wasn't anemic, exercised regularly, tired to get 10 hours of sleep and still felt tired. And I napped all the time. Matthew would tell me I did snore and I always woke up numerous times throughout the night thinking I had to go to the bathroom but in reality I was waking up because I was not breathing properly. Since I was having interrupted sleep I was not getting a good quality sleep for me to feel well rested for the next day.

I went to see a specialist and was diagnosed with a mild case of sleep apnea. He said that it is more common in Asians because we have small jaws and necks.

Sleep apnea is one of the most common undiagnosed illnesses affecting as many as 53% of men and 26% of women.

The scary part is that if it goes untreated you could literally lose up to 10 years of your life because your body is not getting the oxygen it needs to survive.
Other harmful effects of sleep apnea are:
- high blood pressure
- stroke
- heart failure, irregular heart beats and heart attacks
- diabetes
- depression
- headaches

Studies now link sleep apnea to having harmful effects on the brain over the long term such as having memory problems.

In a TIME magazine article.  "The Scary Connection Between Snoring and Dementia" by Alice Park indicates that "those with sleep apnea tended to develop signs of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) including memory lapses and slower speed on cognitive skills about 12 years earlier than average than those who didn't have any apnea." The time span for developing Alzheimer's also seem to speed up, up to five years sooner.

Studies show that "sleep apnea is associated with repetitive drops in the blood oxygen level, which can affect various organs in the body differently" said Dr. Charles Atwood, a sleep specialist and associate professor of medicine at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. Oxygen levels drop because people with sleep apnea have periods during the night when their throats close up and they briefly stop breathing. The weight of the flab around the neck pushes down on the throat at a time when its muscles have relaxed with sleep. That pressure can briefly close the throat until the person partially awakens, gasping for air. That can happen as many as 300-400 times a night. They often don't wake up enough that they are conscious of being awake, thus they feel really tried and unrefreshed in the morning.

The downside of this disorder is that it is uncommonly diagnosed because sleep apnea doesn't have any huge symptoms like chest pain. It doesn't have a specific complaint other than just being tired. People won't go see a doctor until they are in a car accident because they fell asleep at the wheel or they develop high blood pressure or have a stroke.

The easiest way to combat sleep apnea is using a CPAP machine. Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) is the most common treatment for sleep apnea. It's a machine that uses a mask that fits over your mouth and or nose. The machine gently blows air into your throat. This pressure from the air helps keep your airway open while you sleep.

It takes awhile to get used to but now after eight years of using it, I can't sleep without it. It has changed my life. I actually am awake in the morning and feel I can handle whatever comes my way.

It's a sacrifice because I have to be hooked up to it every night and it goes everywhere with even when I travel but better to have a clear head than a groggy grumpy head.

I wanted to extend my life as long as I can and if I need this machine to help me sleep then so be it. There are no side effects to using the machine compared to taking medication or having surgery.

I encourage you if you know anyone that snores a lot and is tired all the time to look into getting tested for sleep apnea. It's that person who always needs a huge caffeine pick me up in the morning and afternoon; who can sleep anywhere at a drop of a hat because they are so tired; who nod off while driving home after work; and they sleep with their mouths open snoring away every night.

Getting checked can literally change and extend your life. And that is a GOOD thing!

Shark-Teeth

I dislike going to the dentist. I always have. I tend to gag whenever they put that suction vacuum in my mouth and it's just an uncomfortable experience having your mouth wide open for an hour. But I go for preventative care! Plus my dentist is awesome! I have been seeing him for 20+ years!

Both my parents do not have good teeth nor gums (since they never went as a child nor really as an adult) so I take full advantage of our dental insurance and go regularly (every 6 months) to get my teeth cleaned. I brush after every meal and floss daily. I am happy to say that I only have one cavity to date!

My girls also do not like going to the dentist. They go to an awesome pediatric dentist, Dr. Steven Chan. He's so personable, great with kids and translates 'dental/medical' terms to English so I can understand!

Emily had 10 of her baby teeth extracted by the dentist and 4 that were lost 'naturally'.

Hannah has had all her baby teeth pulled.. #7 & 8 was just recently. She is currently 9 years old and only has 'lost' 8 baby teeth. All of them being extracted by the dentist.

Now you see why my girls don't like going to the dentist? (Nothing against Dr. Chan though.. he's great!)

Hannah had a shark tooth (the baby tooth in front of the new permanent one).

Dr. Chan says that the permanent teeth technically 'should' push the baby one out (growing on top of the old one).. thus you get a loose tooth. But Hannah's (and Emily's) teeth don't tend to grow that way. Her permanent teeth tend to grow 'next' to the baby tooth thus the baby tooth does not get loose. And her permanent teeth are so much bigger than her baby teeth too!

A few hours after the 'extractions'.

She definitely 'looks' happier than she was after she came out of the dentist's office. That's fer sure!

A Time to Rest

I love to sleep... but to rest... not really my style. Too many things to do: ministry events to plan for; emails to read; emails to respond to; bible study to prep for; albums to scrap; finances to prep for (just refinanced and changed banks); plus the day to day outdoor chores: grocery shopping (to three different stores), 'errands' drop off and pick up; and indoor chores: cooking, cleaning, organizing and of course: raising children: homework, projects and cleaning up after them. As you can see, 'rest' is really not in my calendared schedule.

Until recently, when I was literally bedridden with illness:

My meal of the day: every 4-6 hrs for the five days.

I shouldn't be too surprised since Hannah came down with a cough and fever, then my husband (he was so sick that he had to stay home from work one day... he hasn't done that since Hannah was born 8 years ago).

So I guess it was my turn. (Thankfully Emily is and was healthy as a horse!). The worst part was the head and sinus congestion that literally gave me a humongous headache. The cough made my chest hurt and my body was achy all over. I had a low grade fever that just would not go away... always lingering on 99.5-100.5 degrees. Had the fever for three straight days. It wasn't until my fourth day of being sick that my head kind of cleared up and I was able to at least sit up and walk around without discomfort.

Since I wasn't in the mood to do my 'regular' stuff around the house, I had to still be productive (being the Type A person that I am) so while I was bedridden for the first three days, I slept, and when I wasn't sleepy but was physically tired, I prayed. I prayed for myself to get better, of course (it's so debilitating being forced to not do anything and stay in bed) and for everyone that I know and love, and for anyone that I didn't know. Just talking to God. It was a really good time.

God says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." I believe that our lives have become so busy with everything under the heavens that we don't 'rest'. 'Rest' and 'reflect' on our lives; to be 'thankful' for all things good and not-so-good. God never said that life here on earth would be easy but if we have faith in Him, He will give us the strength to persevere and live our short life here on earth to the fullest for God.

Check out this Francis Chan video: What Are You Living For?



Powerful huh?

Now other than praying, I also read some books. I have not done this for quite awhile. I used to read books like drinking water but since I started writing/blogging, I realized that it takes up most of my free time. Now since I wasn't in the mind set (or alertness) to write. I read.

 

Since  the movie is coming out soon, I started to read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I finished it in 5-1/2 hrs. Then I moved onto her second book of the trilogy, Catching Fire and then her third, Mockingjay. In three days, I finished the whole trilogy. It was THAT good! Overall, I enjoyed the first book the best. I have been enthralled with some of the popular Young Adult titles. They are so interesting and very well written.

Being sick gave me the opportunity to rest, pray and read. It was a good thing!

The Orthodontist

I never had braces. It's not because I didn't need them. I just didn't want them. Since I was a big thumb-sucker when I was little, my mom wanted me to get braces. She told my dentist. He said I didn't need them. So I listened to my dentist and told my mom, I didn't need them.

Fast forward to today, my mom continues to remind me that I should have gotten braces but oh.. c'est-la-vie. I didn't want them because I was scared to get them. I did not want to deal with the uncomfortableness/pain of wearing them for long months on end and how it would make me look. Yes, I was a chicken. When I was little, getting braces was not the norm. Now kids and adults are getting them all the time.

Emily saw the orthodontist at age 8. Apparently that is the age when your child should start seeing the orthodontist. Something about checking their bite, jaw and how their teeth are coming in. Thankfully, she doesn't need anything done until all her permanent teeth come in. Then if she does get braces, it'll be for cosmetic purposes only. (Like me.)

Getting braces seems like the 'in' thing to do now for kids. They all have braces. It's rare to see a kid without braces. My 8-year old nephew just got braces. Apparently he has a cross bite and under bite. The braces will fix all of that supposedly. 

Hannah is 8 years old and her dentist told me, "It's time for Hannah to see the orthodontist."  He's concerned with her two front teeth which are coming straight down on top of her bottom two teeth and that her unseen permanent teeth are humongous which concerns him in regards to spacing in her mouth. Plus she has a huge gap in between her two front teeth. Now mind you, she has only 'lost' 6 baby teeth. I say 'lost' because she really has never lost any teeth. They were all extracted by the dentist.

Check out Hannah's panoramic x-ray of her mouth. She still has tons of baby teeth still there and her permanents are enormous.

Hannah's visit to the orthodontist was very worrisome... for me. You see, I was afraid of all the work that she will need to endure to fix the teeth problems. She already gets hysterical whenever we go get her teeth cleaned at the dentist. How will she react when she has to get all this serious, painful, uncomfortable orthodontic work done in her tiny mouth? (You can see where she gets her anxiety from.) Knowing her, I know that she will be traumatized by the experience. That's just who she is right now.

So we go and get our first consultation and I brace for the worst. I guess God knew how much Hannah could handle and He answered our prayers. Our orthodontist, Dr. Chun, said that she doesn't need any work done right now. In fact, her two front teeth are not coming directly on top of her bottom teeth. If she relaxes her jaw, the teeth come right over it. And when she loses the rest of her baby teeth, the permanent teeth will come right it. Apparently she has a lot of spacing between her baby teeth (never really needed to floss really) so it'll work itself out. Now if she had had baby teeth that were very close together, then it would be a problem. So Yay! Nothing to be done until she goes back in one-year for another 'consultation'! Dr. Chun is THE best orthodontist out there, in my opinion. She explained to us, in laymen terms, what was happening with Hannah's teeth.

Whew... what a relief. But now since Emily has all her permanent teeth, she'll see Dr. Chun this summer. We'll see what she says for her!

No Pain No Gain

I have a bad back. I've had back pain ever since I was in my late 20's. It all happened when I bent over (not using my legs in a squatting position) to pick up a piece of kleenex that I had thrown into the trash can but missed. Then BAM! Something happened and I was in debilitating pain. And my back hasn't been the same ever since.

I've seen doctors, gotten cortisone shots, got poked and assessed by sports therapists and physical therapists. Eventually I got insoles for my shoes (for alignment), a lumbar cushion for my lower back for where ever I sat and regularly did my back strengthening exercises (aka my 'mermaid' push-ups).

As I got older, I had to be more conscious of my back and how I use it. For the past few years, my back has been okay (knock on wood). It's been okay even through two pregnancies. I think it's because of the conscious investment I put into it that it is pretty much pain free for now. That investment is called: massage.

Now I know that it's a 'splurge' to get a massage. But hear me out. I know money doesn't come easy. So we have to spend it wisely. Some just spend and don't think about the debt they've incurred; others save save save (usually the asian way). But no matter how much or little we have, there is always something that we need to spend on that is 'luxurious' or 'self-satisfying'. It may be an investment in supping-up your car, purchasing high quality sports equipment, going golfing or skiing, receiving spa treatments and/or regular mani/pedis, or ordering your weekly/daily 'Grande Hot Chocolate 2 pumps mocha 1 pump vanilla Extra Hot with Whip No Drizzle' at Starbucks. Nevertheless, there may be one thing that we do 'splurge' on that we just need to make us feel good.

I have discovered that a regular massage for me keeps me physically and mentally healthy. It really does. It helps take away my back aches, prevents future back pain and de-stresses me at the same time. Now for many a massage is a time of relaxation and provides that 'calgon take-me away' type feeling. My cousin seems to always fall asleep when she gets a massage. She is that relaxed.

Not me. Nope. That is not my kind of massage. The massage I need is the deep tissue kind. My kind is the 'screaming-in-my-head' kind because it's that painful. Yep. No pain, no gain I say. If I can't feel pain, I don't feel the tightness and tension going away. I don't feel the muscles getting loosened. Those 'sleep-induced' massages are what I call 'wimpy' massages for me.

My massage therapist, Shelley, is an incredible masseuse. I-Love-Her! Her massages are so painful sometimes that when I haven't seen her for months and go to her, I still have the ache from the massage for days. Her focus is muscle therapy which specializes on pain relief.  (I know.. it's really not relief until you go a couple of times.) Deep tissue massage is her expertise. Each time I go, the less pain I feel. Bottom-line, I feel that she's really doing her job well and I can feel it. And it feels good. I feel like my upper body is getting a huge workout and thankfully, I'm not the one sweating and tired.

Recently, I was diagnosed with plantar fascilitis in my foot (inflammation of the tissue in my heel). I've been getting physical therapy for it. Denise, my PT is also awesome. Been seeing her since I've had my back pain. Denise heats, massages and ices the inflamed area. While seeing Shelley for my regular back massage, I told her to massage my foot too. She did and boy, did it hurt since she tried to deknot all the tiny knots in my foot. I iced it when I got home and it's feeling better. Much less painful when I walk.

Massage, I believe, is essential in our lives when we age. Have you not checked out all the electrical massage gadgets at Brookstone or Sharper Image? How about those massage chairs in the middle of the malls? They are all on to something. There is a need. And an important one at that.

Five Top Regrets People Make

Life gets so busy and goes by so fast that sometimes we don't take time to stop and reflect on if we really did the best living our lives.

I came across an article "Nurse Reveals the Top 5 Regrets People make on their Deathbed." Actually the info came from a songwriter, Bronnie Ware, who wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed. But it doesn't matter who it came from.. the important part is that it was enlightening information. Something to really think about.

Top Five Regrets People Make on their Deathbed

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
They said this was the most common regret of all.  I may have to agree. Many of us want to please others, have others like us, and or just want to keep the peace. We all have dreams; when you lose your health it's kind of too late. That's why we travel now with the kids cuz when they get older they won't want to travel with you or can't due to scheduling conflicts and when you have an empty nest, you may not be as physically fit to go around the world in eighty days.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
Ah... ain't that the truth. This came from every male patient the nurse cared for. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Work-o-holics... I know that in this day and age especially in this economy, our jobs are very precious to us. But precious enough that we miss out on time with our family? Especially our kids? Will you need to write a book for your kids explaining the reasons why you worked so much (aka Mr. Jobs) after you die?  I personally feel that one's childhood experiences has a huge life-changing impact on who they become as an adult. How well do you know your child?

3. I'd wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Sometimes we really don't have the guts to say how we really feel or what we really want to say to others.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I so value my relationships with others. Whenever we spend time with others either through sharing a meal or on a trip, the time and conversation we share is priceless. Personally, I feel it's not what we do but who we are with that is important. We get so caught up in our own lives that we don't invest ourselves with others from our past or present.

Who can say that they still keep in touch with friends from grade school, high school, college, graduate school, every job that they had post college, all the guys they seriously dated, all the churches they've attended and served in and extracurricular organizations such as MOPS, Gymboree etc..? Yep.. that's moi!! I most proudly have!

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Happiness is a choice. Life is a choice. Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly. Choose to be happy.

I would like to add one more important one:

6. I wish I had listened to God, loved Jesus as my Lord and Savior and did my best to make a difference in other people's lives by sharing God's love to others.

Investing in others is so much more satisfying than building our own self up. It is more meaningful and fulfilling knowing you made a difference in someone else's life, by caring, sharing and loving them as Jesus does.

I'd like to go out on a limb now to say, my dear readers, if you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior I hope you'd consider the decision to accept Him in your heart. Life can be too hard to live without a living God who knows all and loves us because He created us. I'm not saying that life will be a breeze when we become a Christian. Not at all, life will go on but you don't have to live it alone. God will be with you always. And when it's your time on earth to go, we'll all meet up in heaven to live in eternity together.

ONGOING CONTEST... remember I will enter your name with each comment you post on anything I've written through February 9 . Random winner will receive a BIG prize!

911 Anyone?

When we were looking for a house to buy, I told Matthew that I wanted to be near a hospital so that if we need to get there, we can get there fast.

Hospitals. Unfortunately, they usually give people a bad taste in their mouth. Filled with germs and sickness, sadness and uncertainty. Honestly, when I hear 'hospital' I think negative thoughts... someone is seriously sick, got hurt or is suffering enough to need emergency care. It's never good to be in the hospital unless you're celebrating the birth of a precious little one.

Last week, my mom went into the hospital. She woke up one morning with severe dizziness and severe nausea. She could not stand up by herself or walk. So my dad called 911 and off she went in an ambulance to the hospital. My dad called my sister and my sister called me and told me about it in the morning. She told me to wait until our dad got back to us to see what was wrong. She thought maybe she was just dehydrated. So I wait.

There is a lot of waiting in hospitals. Waiting for a room; to see a doctor; to get tested; to get test results; for a doctor to explain the test results; to get appropriate medication etc... Or waiting for a phone call.

This new year has started with great sadness:
• A KHA 8th grade student's father suddenly passed away from a heart attack. He was a very involved parent, attended our church and has a wife and two boys ages 13 and 14.
• Another friend from our church, a husband and father of 4 young boys (ages 3-12) has been diagnosed again with cancer, this time it's in his brain and all over his body. His doctor told him to get his affairs in order and spend as much time with his family.
• Two of Matthew's uncles have been diagnosed with cancer; my mother-in-law flew down to visit with her older brothers to support them and share the gospel to them.
• A good friend's uncle unexpectedly passed away in his sleep. 

Now my mom enters the hospital. Overall Matthew and I have been extremely blessed. Other than my uncle passing a few years ago, we have not had any significant health worries.

But I know that one day we'll get that call. A call that will send a shiver up your spine and give you a shock-like look in your eyes knowing that life may change significantly from this point on. Many of us have aging parents. Unfortunately, no one lives forever. And when that time comes, it might not be easy or pretty.

Back to my mom. I didn't hear back from my sister so I called my dad and he said in his broken English, "She's really sick. She's getting a MRI." So I picked up the girls from school, dropped them off at Matthew's office and headed over to the hospital. It was a very solemn time. A time to pray fervently to God that everything is okay; a time to tell yourself, it'll be nothing serious (called denial); a time to reflect on life itself.

Since I have a partial choleric personality, I feel most secure when I am in control and am able to find ways to fix things. I have learned the hard way (especially since having children) that I cannot control or fix anything that deals with your health. That's when I pray.. a lot!

Oh.. back to my mom again. When I got to the hospital, the emergency room doctor was just meeting with my parents to go over her results. What a blessing! You know how hard it is to meet with a doctor in a hospital? You can stay there all day and you never know when they'll show up. She told me that my mom's MRI was clear, her heart scan was clear, blood tests normal. She said she probably had a virus in her inner ear that gave her vertigo and the extreme dizziness caused her nausea. She prescribed her some meds and discharged her out of the hospital.

Whew.. nothing serious and she's A-okay now.... this time. A reminder to not take life for granted.

ONGOING CONTEST... remember I will enter your name with each comment you post on anything I've written through February 9 . Random winner will receive a BIG prize!

10 Hair Rules You Need to Break

I've always been very self-conscious about my hair. I have very fine hair now. It used to be thick when I was around 10 years old... straight, thick and long.  I got a perm when I was a freshman in college. Let's just say I looked like Diana Ross. Get the picture? In my sophomore year I chopped it off into a bob to get rid of the mane of frizzy hair. It was really short above the shoulder with a little flip.. kind of like That Girl's Marlo Thomas.  When I grew the hair out (it took forever) I ended up having a permanent wave to my hair. When I had kids, that process really messed up my hair. My hair thinned out and I really never got the volume back.  Yes, having children can change your body drastically. And not for the better either. Thank goodness I love my children to death or I would have had a huge grudge on them.

Now I like my hair shoulder length and I 'try' to style it everyday. I say 'try' because I don't have 5 hands to hold the hair dryer, roller brush and clips to part, brush, curl and dry my hair. Whatever I can do it's with 2 hands.  I can never get my hair to look like the way it does when I come out from the salon. Never!! One time I went to the school after a cut, style and color to pick up something. Everyone raved about how good I looked and asked what did I do. I told them I won't look like this tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll go back to my normal amateur-styled look.

When I go to my 'stylist' (the ones that charge an arm and a leg are called 'stylists'), I used to get a cut and highlight. Now I also have to get an all around color. Yes, I started the need to color my hair to hide the yucky gray. Just a highlight won't do anymore. Sigh! So whenever I'm there, I'm there for 2-1/2 hours. It's a long process but well worth it at the end.

I enjoy reading magazine articles that help me be a better person or at least 'look' like a better person. I'm always open to new hair styling tips. Realistic ones of course. The following tips are from InStyle Magazine and I thought they were interesting enough to take note of.

The following are 10 Hair Rules You Need to Break!

1. Older Women Shouldn't Go Long
Break It: Long hair after 40 doesn't automatically make you look older, but since hair thins as you age, pump up the volume with layers and movement around the face. "Poker-straight styles are too harsh,” says stylist Byron Williams, who has worked with Demi Moore. Los Angeles stylist Chris McMillan advises parting hair on the side. “It will open up your entire face and give you a fresh, wide-awake look,” he says.

This rule is usually not broken by women. You may notice,  the older they get.. it seems their hair gets shorter and shorter. Just check out your mom's hair. Is it short or long? Some of my friends and I decided that when we grow older we will not cut our hair short. Let's see if we can all hold out!

2. Redheads Can't Wear Red Lips
Break It: Makeup artist Molly Stern gave Amy Adams a strawberry pout at the première of "The Fighter." Stern says pick a shade that’s richer in intensity than your strands, like cherry and scarlet, and keep blush and eye makeup neutral. 

Since I am not a redhead, I don't know if red hair matches with red lips. So go ahead.. I don't see anything wrong with it!

3. Hide Your Gray
Break It: "Gray hair used to represent beauty on the decline, but that’s no longer the case,” says N.Y.C. colorist Louis Licari. Models at Calvin Klein and Chanel walked down the runway with white stripes in their hair. To make silver sexy, Licari recommends adding white highlights  around the face and crown and using blue-based shampoos or styling spray (like Goldwell’s).

I actually agree with this rule. Gray does NOT look flattering to me especially around my temples and bang areas.  That's why I do the color. I don't think the salt and pepper look is very flattering for me.

4. Bangs Shouldn't Be Wavy
Break It: Bangs don't have to be stick straight, says N.Y.C. hairstylist Garren. For a fresh look, he suggests applying a setting lotion (like René Furterer Acanthe Curl Enhancing leave-in fluid, $26; beauty.com). Sweep your wavy fringe to one side and allow it to air-dry. “Your bangs will form a pretty curve that softens up your entire face,” he says.

Since I don't have bangs, I don't have an opinion about wavy bangs. But I think it only looks good if you have wavy hair. Straight hair needs to stick with straight bangs.

5. Turn Down the Heat
Break It: Dialing down the heat on flatirons actually does more harm than good, says N.Y.C. stylist Robert Vasquez. "Dragging the flatiron on that same piece over and over again is what weakens the hair’s outer protective layer," he says. Divide hair into 2-inch sections and glide the iron slowly, gradually increasing pressure from roots to ends and making only one pass at the highest setting (typically 410 degrees). 

I always use heat to style my hair. I always use the hair dryer to dry my hair so heat is important to me. 

6. Trim Every Six Weeks
Break It: “Hair simply doesn’t grow that fast,” says stylist Jen Atkin of the Andy Lecompte Salon in West Hollywood. Most cuts take three months to lose their shape. (If you use styling tools frequently, cut every 10 weeks.) To keep locks looking healthy in between chops, Atkin recommends using a hydrating cream on ends.

Yep...I break this rule definitely!  I wait as long as I can so I can get the most out of my cut. It's too expensive to go so frequently. I used to be able to go every 5-6 months but since my color doesn't last more than 10 weeks, I have to go more often. 

7. Extra Shampooing Gets Hair Cleaner
Break It: Nothing strips hair faster than a frothy lather, says Fabian Lliguin of Cocoon Hair Studio in N.Y.C. When your scalp is dry, it produces more oil to compensate, resulting in greasy roots and brittle ends. “It’s a catch-22,” says Lliguin. Instead, apply a conventional shampoo only to the scalp or switch to a gentler oil-based shampoo. 

Actually my stylist says there is no need to wash your hair daily but I have to since I put so much product in it to style it. But I agree that you don't need a lot of shampoo. Many shampoos say a dime or quarter size is enough for a lather. No rinse and repeat. Please..

8. Don't Wear Hair Wet
Break It: With wet hair, you get amazing control and polish, says Guido Palau, who created sporty looks for the Lanvin show. “There are no flyaways; your style is completely uniform.”

I personally don't like wearing hair wet (it's too cold!) but everyone is different. If you have no time to dry it after your morning shower, it's better to be wet than late. But if you have a big meeting, a presentation or teaching a  class of students, might be better to make your hair look presentable. The wet ponytail looks good!

9. Fight the Frizz
Break It: “Frizz can be super-glamorous,” says Miami hairstylist Oribe. “Movie stars in the 1930s actually brushed out their curls to create volume with an ethereal quality. It just can’t look like an accident." Add texture and control to the ends with a dollop of mousse, then smooth the roots with a medium-hold hairspray.

I don't like frizz. It makes my hair too uncontrollable and fragile feeling like it's going to break.

10. Evening Requires an Updo
Break It: Loose strands can be just as dressy as upswept hair, says Oribe, as long as you define wimpy waves with a curling iron, or make straight hair even sleeker with a flatiron. “Be deliberate,” he says. “Loose hair only looks casual when its texture is neither here nor there.” On the flip side, an easy updo adds a touch of refinement to daytime looks.

Since I rarely have an opportunity to attend a fancy evening event, I don't do the updos. But my cousin's wedding was at the Fairmont and it was semi-formal and I had my hair down. Personally my ears stick out too much if I have an updo. I'd rather have a big-do like Adele!

ONGOING CONTEST... remember I will enter your name with each comment you post on anything I've written through February 9 . Random winner will receive a BIG prize!

HPV Vaccine... Yes or No?

When I was at the doctor's office, I asked the girl's pediatrician if Emily will need to get any shots next year when she turns 12. She replied, "Yes, the HPV vaccine". She said that she highly recommends it to girls between the ages of 9-12. I asked her if this vaccine was mandatory and she said, " No, not for the schools... yet. But I highly recommend it."

So I went home to ponder if I should have my soon-to-be 12-year old daughter get this HPV vaccine. I wondered if any of my friends had their teenage daughters get this vaccine. I wonder...

No more wondering... I took a survey (email is a great information gatherer) and got lots of responses. Before I share my opinion, let me tell you a little bit about what HPV is and the HPV vaccine.

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted disease (STD) in the States.

• There are more than 40 types of HPV; most are harmless; some are not.

• Most people with HPV do not develop symptoms or health problems from it. In 90% of the case, the body's immune system clears HPV naturally within two years. But, sometimes, HPV infections are not cleared and can cause:
- Genital warts
- Rarely, warts in the throat - a condition called recurrent respiratory papillomatosis or RRP
- Cervical cancer and other, less common but serious cancers including cancers of the vulva, vagina, penis, anus and oropharynx (back of throat including base of tongue and tonsils).

• Millions of men and women are infected with HPV.

• Many who are infected don't know it because they don't have any noticeable symptoms.

• Infections with some types of HPV can cause genital warts.

• Some types of HPV can be associated with cervical and anal cancer; these are the ones that don't cause warts so you are pretty much symptom-less.

• Often a person will be infected with more than one type of HPV.

• Currently, there is no cure for HPV.

How do you get HPV?

• It is spread by skin-to-skin contact (genital-genital, oral sex), usually during sex, even if condoms are used, and even if no genital warts are present.
• The virus lives in the skin of infected people in areas like the penis, scrotum and vagina. 
• Condoms do not offer much protection because the virus can often be in areas that the condom doesn't cover.

How do you prevent getting HPV?

• The sure way to protect yourself from HPV is to not have sex.

How do you know if you have HPV?

• Existence of genital warts
• An abnormal pap test result (sometimes)
• Positive result of HPV test (cervical swab)

They say HPV is so common and so easy to transmit, most sexually active people will have HPV infections at some point in their lives. One way of protecting yourself from having an HPV infection possibly turn into cervical cancer is to get the HPV vaccine (prior to exposure) and have regular Pap tests.

The HPV Vaccine (Gardasil vaccine):

• Approved by the FDA in 2006 for females ages 9-26.

• Protects against the strains of four of the most common HPVs that may cause precancerous changes in the cervix and some genital warts.

• Given in three doses: four weeks after the 1st dose; 12 weeks between doses 2 and 3; 24 weeks between doses 1 and 3

• Vaccine is only effective when it is given before they are exposed (usually ages 9-12).

• According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the vaccine is most effective at age 11 and 12, before they may have any type of sexual/skin to skin contact with a partner.

• Ages 11 and 12 were chosen due to many who develop an interest in the opposite sex at that age.

• Insurance will not cover anyone over the age of 26 (thus the maximum age of 26) because it is assumed that most people will have been exposed to the virus at that age if they are sexually active.

• If you desire to get the vaccine after age 26, the retail price is about $130 per dose ($390 for the full series).

• But once they are exposed to the HPV virus via contact, the vaccine can't protect them no matter what age they are at.

• The side-effects of this vaccine are no different than any other routine vaccines.

Some common concerns regarding this particular vaccine (other than the usual side effects of any vaccine) are:
• the feeling that if you give this vaccine to your child, it 'allows' them to be promiscuous;
• you, the parent, are indirectly saying it's 'okay' to have sex because you've given them the vaccine;
• you, the parent, may be implying that your child "may" have sex before marriage

The above concerns are all 'assumptions' and not fact. You don't know if that will happen to your child.

But the following will happen to your child if you don't give them the vaccine:
• As with any vaccine, it is protection against a disease that they may be exposed to. One that does not have a cure.
• If your child doesn't have sex until marriage, their future partner may not have waited and thus may have been exposed to the virus thus will be passing it to your child.
• Even if your child does not have "sex", HPV is contracted through skin-to-skin contact, not only through intercourse.
• When contracted, there is no cure.

Okay.. with all this info on the table, I received many responses regarding this vaccine. Out of the 14 parents who have teenage girls I contacted, only four allowed their daughters to get the vaccine.

The reasons for "No" were:
• Child not sexually active and trust that she won't be until marriage
• Vaccine too new and unknown long term effects
• Conservative vaccinating: fear of linkage to autism and other severe irreversible reactions/consequences

The reason for "Yes" was:
• Protection from a disease for my child

One mom said, "My personal view as a mom and a Christian is I can't predict what will happen to my kids or their future partner/spouse, so I rather have them be protected. I don't feel that the vaccine will cause them to be promiscuous, after all, they need to know that the vaccine will only cover 4 of the 40 HPV viruses, plus there are so many other STIs out there. Along the same line, hardly anyone objects their kids to get the routine Hepatitis B vaccine, which is transmitted by sex or sharing of needles. In my opinion, it is much easier to "catch" HPV then Hepatitis B."

One father said that he had his daughter get the vaccine at around 16 or 17 (right before she headed off to college), an age when she understood what the vaccine was for and it's effects and consequences. His reasoning was to protect her from her future partner/spouse in case she fell in love and wanted to get married at a young age.

Another mom said she knows of someone who was infected with HPV via rape and developed cervical cancer as a result. Involuntary exposure.

What about the BOYS?
The CDC just came out with the recommendation for boys to also receive the vaccine so insurance might pay for it in the future. This vaccine can protect them from genital warts.

All food for thought... so with all that in mind....

My opinion is (and note this is only MY opinion):
• I cannot 'assume' that my daughter will not have any type of sexual activity whether if it's intercourse or any skin-to-skin contact whatsoever before marriage.
• I cannot 'assume' that her future partner/spouse would not have any type of sexual activity whether it's intercourse or any skin-to-skin contact whatsoever before marriage.
• I agree with another mom, "if there's anything I can do to protect my daughter from harm, especially a terrible disease, I'd have her do it."
• My girls have had all the vaccines that is recommended for them at their current age and maybe even more since we have traveled abroad a few times too.
• I do not think age 12 is an appropriate age to get the vaccine. I personally feel they are still too young.
• But I do think that it is an important vaccine to receive at an age where they personally are aware of what they are receiving. I think before they go off to college, if they have not started dating, would be an appropriate time.
• Of course, I could let her decide if she wants the vaccine when she becomes an adult  (18 yrs old), but it's a three dose process. Can I trust that she'll be diligent enough to go to the doctor's three times within the assigned time periods to get it?
• For those of you who refrain from all vaccines in general, I understand and respect your hesitance.

My intent in writing about this topic was to not to tell you what to do but to help all of us be better informed of what our children are/will be exposed to. I want to thank all the parents that I contacted and responded to my survey and a huge thank you to my dear friend A. who is a nurse and was able to give me answers to all the medical questions I had in regards to the disease and vaccine.

So what do you all think? I know that many of you have daughters and this topic will come up. I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

ONGOING CONTEST... remember I will enter your name with each comment you post on anything I've written through February 9.  Random winner will receive a BIG prize! Note that I need to know who you are so if you comment using Anonymous please add your name or initials!

Grass Doesn't Look Greener on the Other Side

A Follow-Up from blog post: Do You See What I See?

So I tried on my 11th pair of contacts. This was actually the same prescription as my 9th pair. But you get the picture.. it's not clear! The 10th pair I couldn't see far very clearly; this 11th pair I can't see close very clearly.

Well.. I tried the bi-focal/multifocal contacts and unfortunately they did not fully work for me. Great idea though and technically it would have been perfect but of course sometimes the grass doesn't look greener on the other side!

So I'm going back to monovison contacts and adjusting one of lenses to be more 'reading' friendly (aka lowering the power on my left).

Thankfully my optometrist is a very patient man who is willing to try out different options with me until I am satisfied. The contacts aren't perfect but what truly is... right?

A Beautifying Brunch

I love to eat.
I love to eat homemade food.
I love to eat homemade food that I did not make.

So I loved going over to my dear friend, Grace's, home for a delicious brunch. She enticed Susana and myself with a huge pot of peach tea...

... delicious buckwheat soba noodle salad...

... yummy cranberry buttermilk scones...

... and apricot scones...

... to go with the piece de resistance... lemon curd! They were soooo yummy!!

I always felt that the best times of reconnecting and deep conversation was over a meal or a cup of tea. I don't get to see these two friends enough and when we get together we try not to talk over one another (because there is just so much to catch us up on). We listen, laugh, eat, listen, respond, respond and laugh and eat some more.

It is those times that I feel that this is what friendship is. Connecting, listening, responding, encouraging and loving each other.

I also loved the drive down to Grace's house. Mind you I don't like to drive and I don't like to drive in traffic to a city that I'm not too familiar with. (It took us almost an hour to get there with traffic.) But I really enjoyed talking to Sus about what's been happening in our lives. Catching up with one another one-on-one with no interruptions. I told Matthew that it was real precious time for me with her.

Other than eating, Grace also pampered us with her new interest: beautifying ourselves.

Yes, we are at the stage of needing to use 'anti-aging' products. Actually, I was told that you need to start using 'anti-aging' products when you're in your 30's. When the wrinkles and age spots come, it's kind of too late to do anything significant about it. Oh well.. better late than never.

No, we are not using Oil of Olay but Grace showed us some of what she was using and recommending to her friends: Mary Kay products.

She showed us a lotion and scrub for our hands that helped soften our cuticles. Our hands get a beating with all the things we do with them.

We got to clean and beautify our faces with moisturizer, mineral powder, eye shadow, blush and lipstick. I'm not big on makeup.. less is more for me, but I loved the powder brush.

I personally am using Arbonne anti-aging skin care products and am happy with it but it's interesting to see what other lines have to offer. 

The big thing I came away with is the need for eye cream (I have some but keep forgetting to put it on) and taking better care of our hands.

If you are interested in any products from Mary Kay, Grace would love to beautify you. Just contact her.

Sealants

I GOT A WINNER! 

'theyews' posted the 50th comment and won a $25 Amazon Gift Card from MamaCez. Thanks everyone for commenting and I love the feedback regarding my posts. Look forward to my 100th blog post contest.

So Hannah had gotten the blogging bug like her Mama and has written a couple of blogs herself.

In the past, she wrote about her "teeth-pulling"experience at the dentist:
http://mamacez.blogspot.com/2011/07/her-dentist-experience.html

She continues in that theme to blog about receiving 'sealants'. You see, at the age of 7, children are recommended to have sealants put on their first molars to prevent cavities.

"Dental sealants are thin plastic coatings that are applied to the grooves on the chewing surfaces of the back teeth to protect them from tooth decay. Most tooth decay in children and teens occurs on these surfaces. Sealants protect the chewing surfaces from tooth decay by keeping germs and food particles out of these grooves. Permanent molars are the most likely to benefit from sealants. The first molars usually come into the mouth when a child is about 6 years old. Second molars appear at about age 12. It is best if the sealant is applied soon after the teeth have erupted, before they have a chance to decay. The process is short and easy. After the tooth is cleaned, a special gel is placed on the chewing surface for a few seconds. The tooth is then washed off and dried. Then, the sealant is painted on the tooth. The dentist or dental hygienist also may shine a light on the tooth to help harden the sealant. It takes about a minute for the sealant to form a protective shield."
----From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Division of Oral Health

Now, this isn't the first attempt for Hannah to have her sealants put in. This was actually her second try, and thankfully it was successful. Her first experience was six months before this appointment and she became hysterical when she was asked to keep her mouth open as they dried the surface of the molar before they put the plastic coating on. Her dentist was a very patient dentist, as you have to be, since he specializes in pediatric dentistry. He told me to not worry and he'll try again at our next six month appointment. When the date rolled around, I told Hannah about the appointment and promised her a 'BIG' prize if she didn't cry and went through the process smoothly.

Here was her experience in her own words:

I guess she has to learn about punctuation in second grade. But you have to be impressed with her ability to find her own graphics and incorporate that on the page. Even I can't do that yet :)

Emily will need to get her second set of sealants for her second molars after she turns 12. Let's see how she'll do.

Do You See What I See?

I started wearing glasses in fourth grade. I figured I needed glasses since I was always squinting to see the board. I vividly remember doing that all the time and then when I put on my glasses for the first time.. TA-DA!! It was like everything was bright, shiny and clear!! What a huge difference!

Since then I wore glasses until my senior year of high school. No, my eyes did not magical improve (I wish!). I got my first contacts! And not those yucky hard ones that my cousin got that looked so painful to put on ... with saliva, I might add. Double yuck! No, I was a wimpy kid and chose the soft kind.

But unlike my cousin, my eyesight continued to get worse while hers remained stable due to her wearing hard lenses. Yes, soft contacts has it's drawbacks. I enjoyed soft contacts for many years until I became pregnant with my second child. I was so tired from carrying one in me and carrying one out of me (in my arms that is) that I was just plain tired all the time. I took many naps and felt that wearing glasses was more comfortable in the long run than putting on and taking off my contacts. After I had my second child, I continued wearing glasses just because it was more convenient.

When I turned 40, I noticed that I was having trouble reading with my glasses. My optometrist said that I needed bifocals or 'transitionals' now since I needed two different powers/degrees - one to see close and one to see far. Sigh.. bifocals? That's for old people! He said it was all due to aging. And I thought it was because I was working full-time and the stress of teaching made my eyes worse. (I think it did make it worse with all the computer usage and grading all those zillions of papers.) So I got the transitional glasses (there isn't an obvious line in the middle of the lenses) last year and they seem to be working well...

...Until this year. I noticed it was still harder to read up close and found out after my annual eye exam that I went up 4 'clicks' in my farsightedness. It didn't change my prescription as a whole too much so I didn't need to order new regular glasses but I decided to order a prescription transitional sunglasses to protect my eyes from the sun you know.. UVB and UVA rays.

I also wanted to order some new contacts since I haven't worn them in awhile but would like to whenever I'm in the water or on vacation. Let me tell you it's not as easy as it looks to find the perfect bi-focal or they call it multi-focal contact lenses.

My optometrist said the easiest thing was to get a set of contacts for my nearsightedness (which I've always had) and buy a pair of reading glasses when I need to read up close. Now don't you think that the whole reason I wore contacts was to not wear glasses?!? It kind of defeats the purpose of wearing contacts when you have to wear glasses over them! So I nixed that option.

So I was to find a pair of muli-focal contacts. I can't explain to you how they work (because I don't know) but they allow me to see up close clearly and see far clearly. Sounds good right?

Well.. after eight different sample pairs I still have not found the right fit for my eyes. I tried different powers and different brands and am losing hope that I will ever be able to find the perfect fit.. or I'll even settle for a 'good' fit. Since my prescription is so high, my options are limited. Sigh again..

The ones I tried were:
Air Optic (4 different pairs) all great far but blurry up close
One in the Office-not sure what the brand was (1) great close but very blurry far
Purevision Multi-focal (1) clear close; blurry far
Proclear (1) hard to focus close and far
Comfilcon A (1) good close; good far but still little bit blurry

I am currently waiting for my 9th pair of contacts.. pray that this is THE one!

My girls also saw their eye doctor who is also my eye doctor and my husband's. The whole family goes to him! Matthew's eyes did not change! He's had the same prescription for at least the last five years! Of course, he wears those hard lenses.

Hannah's eyes are 20/15. Great so far. And I thought she was the one that needed glasses because she complains that she can't read the board in class well. Maybe it was the teacher's writing? :)

Emily's eyes were not so good and she had to get glasses. I was shocked because she never complained about not seeing clearly. She only needs to wear it in class but I know she won't want to wear it because she was so upset finding out she needed them. It took her forever to find a pair of frames because everything looked 'ugly' she said. She should have seen the selection I had when I got my first glasses; They were ugly and geeky. But today the children's frames are so stylish and cute!

That was why this daughter of mine was upset that she wasn't getting glasses. She loved them and couldn't wait to get a pair. No worries there.. she'll get them soon... she's Chinese.

She does look cute... and looks like me too with dimples and lots of teeth!

40 Ain't the New 30

high

gray

lines

supplements

color

weak

loss

pre-

help
more...less

change

A friend once told me that she could not wait until she was 40. "40 is the new 30!" she said. Well.. since being in the 40's for almost five years, I emphatically disagree!  "40 ain't the new 30". In fact, I'd hate to know what 50 will be like.

Above I've listed words that I heard over and over since I turned 40 several years ago that I did not hear when I was in my 30's.

"high cholesterol, high blood pressure, high weight, high body mass index, high thyroid"

"gray hair"

"lines on your face, receding hairline"

"Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Calcium, Fish Oil supplements with your Daily Vitamin"

"time to color the hair due to all the gray, a highlight is not enough"

"weak knees, weak stomach, weak back, weak ankles, weak wrist, weak eyesight"

"hair-loss,  memory-loss, unable to accomplish weight-loss"

"pre-diabetes, pre-menopause"

"CPAP help, mouth-guard help, reading glasses help,  knee brace help, ankle brace help"
"more fruits & veggies, less sweets and salts;
more whole wheat, less white
more organic and grain-fed, less farmed, processed, enhanced;
more exercise, less lying on the coach or recliner;
more face-to-face communication, less texting, phoning, IMing;
more reading, less tv watching;
more family-time, less work-time;
more depending on God; less depending on the world"

"change is happening to areas where I don't want change; 

change is not happening where I do want change"

I love to get together with friends, especially old friends that I have not seen in awhile. In our 20's we talked about who we were dating and our jobs (oops.. career); in our 30's we talked about our kids; now in our 40's, we talk about our health and how good or bad it is.

So at a 40-something birthday party we did just that. There is no shame in sharing about our aliments. We even tried to top one another to see who was the worst off. Bottom line, we were not getting younger. We realize that it takes us longer to heal from an injury, the pain is worse or it's a delayed reaction. We need bifocals or cataract surgery. The 'muffin top' turns into a 'cake top'. Our short term memory is so short that you don't remember why you went downstairs. You call your kids by the wrong names (like our own parents). You have hair in places you never thought would grow hair and it's all turning gray.

We find ourselves doing things our parents do at get-togethers...

...like relaxing on a massage chair...

...or just plain napping.

Of course, inhaling all this kind of food may not be the most nutritious and well-balanced meal for those in our 40's...




Then again, some of us 'think' time has not gone by.... we call them the 'young-at-heart'


Some even think they're still pretty 'hot'..... okay.. 'lukewarm'?


But we still pray a lot... like for this bed to not break due to our added weight.


All in all, we can't turn back time and God did give us these bodies to take care of, so we all strive to take care of ourselves so we can continue to spend time together and of course, to be there for our kids who will be 40 someday.. of course I'll be in my 70's by then... sigh!!

In the book, Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo, a little boy visits heaven and comes back to earth to tell about it. He says that everyone there is not old and looks about when they were in their 30's. I am thankful to hear that since in my 30's I did not have any of the above issues. Heaven will be a very nice place to live eternally... Don't you think? :)

Many happy 40-something year olds with their young kids. (Oh to be kids again!)

Now if you want to read more about who's party this was for, check out my Blog-Mentor- Master Blogger,  Who Fong Paid at WFP.