Monday, January 26, 2015

Shy? Not Really

Introvert? Most Definitely.

I am drawn to articles that talk about introverts and am always curious to see where I am in the introvert - extrovert spectrum. Personally I feel that I am an introvert. Others that know me well may beg to differ in my opinion. I know that working in advertising where I had to frequently make presentations to clients and then foraying into the teaching realm may seem to attract an extroverted-type person. I did 'learn' to be an extrovert but deep deep inside I am a true introvert.

This article just affirms and validates who I think I am.

"10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With The World" by Alena Hall for the Huffington Post was very eye opening. She quoted Susan Cain's study "The Power of Introverts" indicating that the trait of introversion is different from being shy. Cain says, "Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. Extraverts really crave large amounts of stimulation whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most 'switched on' and their most capable when they are in quieter, more low-key environments."

Below are 9 out of 10 ways I, an introvert, agree on how I physically interact with the world around me differently than extroverts.

 1. They withdraw in crowds. Yes, crowds easily overstimulates me and drains me of my physical energy. And Yes even if I know everyone.
alone in crowd

2. Small talk stresses them out, while deeper conversations make them feel alive. Yes, I treasure my one-on-one deep conversations. Small talk, more general topics like the weather, movies etc. I don't really enjoy much.
 
3. They succeed on stage--just not in the chit-chat afterwards. Yes, I can teach a class of 40 kids, present to a group of 15 adults but right afterwards engaging with strangers who heard me speak is oh so not fun. I want to slip away from the crowd after I get off the stage. At least half of people who speak for a living are introverted in nature.
 speech

4. They get distracted easily, but rarely feel bored. Yes, I can get very impatient, antsy in a large group looking around feeling very out of place.  But if I'm in a corner by myself with a book in my hand I am happy. "Because of their sensitivity to their surroundings, introverts struggle with feeling distracted and overwhelmed in large groups but when they are in a place of peace and quiet, they have no problem in diving into a good book or working on a favorite hobby."

5. They are naturally drawn to more creative, detail-oriented and solitary careers.  Yes, I enjoyed media planning when I was in advertising and teaching also due to the lesson planning. It's the executing that was not so fun but overall I'd love to be in a room all by myself and make lists and plans details and make more lists and more plans.
 woman writing
6. When surrounded by people, they locate themselves close to an exit. Oh YES.. that is why I always sit on an aisle seat either close to the front or way in the back both next to the exit doors at church.

7. They think before they speak. OK , I admit, this does not apply to me. I wish I had this trait. I wouldn't get into trouble as much.

8. They don't take on the mood of their environment like extraverts do.Yes, I don't seem to connect well with crowds. Instead I feel awkward and out of place, almost every single time.

9. They physically can't stand talking on the phone. Oh YES that is so me. They say most introverts screen their calls because the intrusive ringing of the phone forces them to abandon focus on what they were doing and most phone conversations require a certain level of small talk that introverts avoid. My cell phone plan has unlimited minutes a month and I use like less than 100 a month, if any.
 texting

10. They literally shut down when its time to be alone. YES that is so me. I treasure my alone time and the more busy I am the more I so desire it. Susan Cain says. "Solitude matters and for some people, it is the air that they breathe."

Bottom line, I like to read about this info and share this information because I am always looking for ways to understand people and the only way we can truly understand one another is to understand how God made them, to understand their upbringing or background and to see things in their point of view. It is so easy to judge without knowing the whole truth. As a teacher, I need to understand who my students are and how God made them and their family life to be able to fruitfully teach them what they need to know. No one is exactly the same.

The more we understand others the more we can all get along. And that's what we need more in the world. Less criticism and more love!

What are you? An Introvert or Extrovert? It'll help me understand you better!