As I reflect and debrief with our Women's Minister on the effectiveness of our past Women's Retreat, I have learned that, as a person in leadership, I need to understand and know the people that I serve with. The better I understand and know them, the better I can effectively communicate, support and encourage them to accomplish our goals.
Eleven years ago, as part of our membership class at church, I took a few tests to better understand myself. One was a spiritual gifts test and another was a temperament test. Our temperaments really help explain why we act and react in situations with others. As we serve (or work) together for a common good or goal, there will be many times where miscommunication happens, assumptions made and feelings hurt. Maybe if we understood each other better these mishaps would not happen. Food for thought..
So I wanted to share with you the four temperaments. Now I'm not making this a psychology lesson, but I thought when you read the descriptions, do you see yourself in any of these types? Do you lean towards one rather than the other? Of course, you won't agree with everything they say about the type but some descriptions may hit home. I know they did for me.
So you know your temperament.. So what? Well my Women's Minister (who is an incredibly insightful and Godly woman) challenged me to not just use my temperament as an excuse and just accept the way I am. Instead she encouraged me to see what my weaknesses were and turn from them. Make a change. React differently. Think differently than I normally would ... for the Better. That was the key word for me.. for the BETTER. Such as when I am offered 'unsolicited critical' advice in regards to 'my' planning of the retreat. Hmmm.. Do I get defensive? Start justifying my actions and shoot off a defensive email in response to that person? Whom I also have to continue to work with? Will my opinion of her change? If I am focused on that person and how she made me feel.. then probably yes to all of the above. But if I turn it around and see her actions from her point of view, knowing she is melancholy choleric also, I can react differently, with grace and understanding that she just wanted to share her perspective 'in love' to me so we can in the future plan a more 'perfect' retreat. Purposeful change. What a concept!
So here it goes...
There are four temperament types: choleric, melancholic, sanguine and phlegmatic.
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| Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine and Phlegmatic |
An Overview (taken from wikipedia)
Choleric
A person who is choleric is a do-er. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were choleric. They like to be leaders and in charge of everything. They can be very manipulative. They are enthusiastic, having very high aspirations and cravings for success. The choleric must be the best in everything and have the best of everything. They are extremely ambitious, having a keen intellect, a strong will, strong passions, an impulse to dominate others becoming their superior and making them subservient.
Melancholic
A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very considerate and get rather worried when they could not be on time for events, melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is sometimes they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others. Like the Sanguine, the Melancholic is also easily excited by things. However, unlike the Sanguine, the initial reaction of excitement is weak, but the impression remains long and grows stronger by subsequent impressions of a similar nature. A person of this temperament is inclined to deep, thoughts and reflection, dwelling the past, looking ahead to the future, is very profound, finds meaning in just about everything, and is not satisfied with the superficial. The melancholic is driven by laws and principles. The melancholic is most comfortable alone, and in silence. He/she is very introspective and always sees life from a serious perspective, often feeling burdened and brought down by temporal affairs. Melancholies are commonly passive, reserved, irresolute, despondent, lacking courage, slow in thought and speech. Melancholies despise the lime-light, and would rather withdraw and let others receive recognition, even when they are praise worthy.
Sanguine
The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when pursuing a new hobby, interest is lost quickly when it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. People of sanguine temperament can often be emotional. Easily excited by external influences, reacting quickly, although the impression is often short-lived. There is somewhat of a superficiality, or better said, lack of depth (part v. whole relationship), in the sanguine personality. The sanguine commonly follows others and has little stability as a result. Fickle in ideas, opinions, and resolutions. Changes moods often (from laughter to tears in a matter of seconds). The sanguine rarely internalizes his/her focus and instead devotes attention to the external (his/her appearance, and of others, to beautiful faces, fashions and manners). The sanguine is full of optimism.
Phlegmatic
Phlegmatics tend to be self-content and kind. They can be very accepting and affectionate. They may be very receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are very consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators. They can also be very passive-aggressive. Not moved by impressions at all; the reaction is missing, or empty, and they fade quickly. There is little interest in what is going on around him/her. Loves leisure, and is often unmotivated to work. Everything proceeds at a slow pace.
My test results were heavy Melancholic with a showering of Choleric (although some say that I 'appear to be' more choleric than melancholy; I disagree but of course that's the choleric part of me talking). I am a sprinkling of Phlegmatic and absolutely zero Sanguine. Yes, I am not a "fun-type-of-person". I admit it. Definitely more serious than fun.
Okay here are the downsides of Melancholic and Choleric:
Melancholic- The Not So Great Characteristics
Easily falls into mental distress and this can be extremely intense. The melancholic, more than any other temperament, has keen awareness of moral right and wrong, and has a deep longing for morality. They are inclined to despair, intense expressions of grief, and occurrences of depression. This can result in self-pity, and he/she may become a burden to friends and family. He/she can also lose confidence in others, specifically superiors; there is a loss of trust and respect when the melancholy becomes aware of a fellow man's weaknesses and faults. The melancholy vehemently desires justice, and forgiveness of offences is hardly an option. He/she is suspicious, lacks trust in people and fears that everyone is out to get him/her. He/she is pessimistic about everything.
Choleric- The Not So Great Characteristics
The choleric is commonly prideful, full of him/her, thinking highly of his/her great qualities and even considers his/her faults worthy of praise. Also, is stubborn and has an opinion on everything. The choleric believes he/she is always right. The choleric is confident, believes others are weak, ignorant, incompetent and slow. Upon humiliation the choleric feels hurt resulting in anger, deceit, and judgments towards others.
Ugh.. how true is the above? It gets right to the heart of who I am sometimes..
But the good stuff is:
Melancholic- The Positive Characteristics
Loves solitude and is often productive in solitary hobbies encompassing the fine arts, liberal arts, crafts, writing, analytics, drama, contributing deep and profound thoughts and ideas to poetics, philosophy, science, and legislation, etc. There is a joy and a relaxation that results in the melancholic devoting time to these activities. Melancholies are excellent counselors to friends, encouragers, give great affirmation when necessary, they are trustworthy and genuine. They are willing to make extreme sacrifices for the sake of others.
Choleric- The Positive Characteristics
The choleric possesses a sharp, keen intellect and will combine with great enthusiasm. Very successful in his/her profession, working diligently in spite of obstacles. Choleric are brief, precise, and sure in their speech.
So why is this important? Well I took this test to better understand myself and how I can better serve in the various ministries at the church. The better we understand how God made us and each other helps us be more patient and have more grace with one another.
These temperaments are not meant to 'label' or 'box' us into a type but it was for us to better understand ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses; to be able to see where God has gifted us to serve him on this earth; and to be able to work together with others with grace, mercy and thankfulness on how God has made each and every one of us. The more we understand ourselves, the better we can catch ourselves whenever we come to a situation where we assume the negative of someone. Or say or do something we regret.
I know that I have a more difficult time working with a person who is very sanguine. I sometimes feel that they don't take their responsibilities seriously or they don't focus on the task at hand. As a melancholy choleric, I perceive laziness and non-seriousness but what I should really focus on is my tendency to control and the need to have to do things my way. That is Purposeful change for the Better. If I focus on myself and not on others, I'd be a much happier person.
But I do admire those who are Sanguine since it's something that I lack and so need to keep me balanced. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My parents are complete opposites. If I had to take a guess, I think my dad is very sanguine with some choleric but my mom is very choleric with no sanguine. A difficult combination. My sister is probably like me, melancholy choleric but she is an extrovert so she must have some sanguine in her. (I am an introvert.) My brother is much more sanguine than my sister and I (he probably got it from my father) but he too may have a showering of melancholy.
My husband, on the other hand, is heavily Phlegmatic and showered with Melancholic. I am so thankful that my husband is phlegmatic. God has truly blessed me with a very very understanding and patient husband. I am soooo lucky! Honestly, I would not be able to live with and marry someone like myself.
Ideally, we should have a balance: a little bit of all the temperaments. But life isn't always perfect. We are not perfect.
So what temperament type are you?
(I couldn't find an online test to post so you'll just have to guess which ones you are.)
