Making Memories

When I was little, my family and I never (okay not never but very rarely) vacationed.
- As a child, we went only once to Disneyland and it was when they had those coupon books as ride tickets and my brother ended up getting lost there. Never went back because of those bad memories.
- I never went to any sleepovers (unless you call staying over my cousin's house a sleepover).
- I never went camping.
- I never stayed in a hotel.
- I rarely went to play in a park even.
- I never went out of the Bay Area, much less the state or the country.

Oh yes we went to San Francisco.. a lot!

Mainly to go to Chinatown to shop for groceries (99Ranch/Marina did not exist back then)

When I became an adult, I decided to experience all that I missed as a child.
- I flew on my first airplane as the age of 19. I flew down to LA so I can drive back up with a friend on the same day! A friend had to help me book my tickets because I didn't know how to.
- I took many road trips with my friends: Seattle, Vancouver BC, Los Angeles, San Diego.
- When I was dating Matthew, I ventured for the first time to the other side of the world: Hong Kong.

Matthew traveled a lot at a very young age. He was born in Dallas, TX; moved to the Philippines when he was four; moved back to the States this time to California when he was nine. Plus he's gone to Hong Kong almost every summer of his young life up to when he was in college.

Matthew playing with his sister on a not-so-safe-looking bicycle. But hey.. that's the Philippines!

Matthew and I have different interests but we have one thing in common: the desire to travel. As a child I felt so secluded and sheltered and so desired to see what else is out there.

So when we married, instead of putting our monies into decorating/remodeling our home or the newest updated cars or biggest flat screen TVs, we used our monies to travel. Even to this day, almost 20 years later, we still have not decorated the walls of our bedroom.

When the girls were born, we took them to Disneyland (Emily was only 7 mths old the first time she went.) and then to Hong Kong at the very young age of 6 and 3. And again to China at the age of 9 and 6. Both girls are on their third passport at the tender ages of 14 and 11.

As a family, we've traveled to up and down California, to the northwest to Canada, down to Mexico, across the country to Florida, through the Caribbean Islands, Haiti, Jamaica, hit some European countries: Italy, Spain and France and of course, Asia: China and Hong Kong. During the summer, I took my girls and their cousins on summer field trips all around the Bay Area to explore and learn.

My mom always worried about us wasting our money away traveling so much. It's really not a necessity in life, she says. Not like a nice home or a reliable car. Or better yet, keeping it cozy in  a bank. I know many friends who do not travel because it's just too darn expensive if you add in the cost of airfare, food, lodging, and activities. I agree. It is expensive.

Sometimes I ask myself, is it all worth it?

Well. I came across this very interesting article that answered my question.

Jay Cassano indicates in his article, "The Science of Why You Should Spend Your Money on Experiences, Not Things" most people want to be happy and that money can make a person happier, but it doesn't make you much happier. The big question is how you spend that money.

Logically Mr. Cassano deduces that purchasing a physical object to gain happiness is better since it will last longer and it will make a person happier for a longer period of time than a one-time experience like attending a concert or vacation.

But "one of the enemies of happiness is adaptation," says Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, who has been studying the question of money and happiness for over 20 years."We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for awhile. New things are exciting to us at first but then we adapt to them." Then it's not so exciting anymore.

Dr. Gilovich says that rather than buying the latest iPhone or newest BMW, he suggests that we'll get more happiness spending money on experiences like attending a concert, doing outdoor activities, learning a new skill or traveling. He says a new object after awhile fades into the background and becomes part of the new normal. While the happiness from material purchase diminishes over time, experiences become an ingrained part of our identity.

"Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods," he says. "You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are a part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences."

He indicates that shared experiences connect us more to others than shared consumption. You're more likely to bond over both having gone to Hawaii rather than both owning a 4K TV. "We consume experiences directly with other people," says Gilovich. "And after they're gone, they're part of the stories that we tell to one another."

One of the reasons we took the girls to China for the second time was to bring them to where my parents were born and grew up in a very rural part of China. I would have never known where it was or how to get there if not for my parents guiding us. It was humbling to see how they were raised and for them to forgo everything they knew and loved to come to America to settle down and have children so they could give them (us) a better life. I wanted to go back to my roots. To see and truly appreciate all that my parents have done and sacrificed for my well-being. For my children's well-being. I will never forget that trip and I have a deeper appreciation, understanding and love for my parents.

My mom's one room home she was born in. (Couldn't afford to go to a hospital)

When we went to Jamaica, we visited an elementary school just so my girls could see what other schools were like. This was a one room concrete schoolhouse with a partition separating the grade levels. The students were all in uniform and they sang to us as we were leaving.

Each class was separated by just an attached partition.

Now wherever we go, we look for birds. My Emily is on the hunt for all birds.

Feeding wild sandhill cranes in Vancouver BC

 So where are we off to next?

In May, I am off to our nation's capital with Emily's 8th grade class on their Washington DC-New York 'field trip'.

Then in June we head to Tel Aviv to start on our two-week pilgrimage of the Holy Land and Greece with 37 church friends led by our founding Pastor and his wife. He takes a group every five years and this may be the last time he'll take a group our size. Matthew and I knew that we had to be on this tour and we are so thankful that other families are bringing their children so it will be a great experience for all ages.

Look for these posts in July!